Acting like strangers
On my way up to Level 10 @ lunch today, I passed her on the escalator going the other way. I let out a kind of strangled "Hi!", not wishing to make a scene but not wishing to maintain the pretence that I hadn't noticed her.
I think she looked up but I got the impression that she was deliberately avoiding eye contact with me, but I don't know that for sure. I think it is a reasonable assumption that she was avoiding the common areas at lunch so as to minimize the chance of running in to me. If that is what she was doing, I understand.
I think I know why she has to treat me like a stranger. We are, after all, strangers.
And yet, it hurts. It just seems so unfair that we have to be strangers.
Of course, that is just from my view point. From hers, it is unfair that I don't let go. I want to empathise with her, I want to understand things from her point of view. I want her to explain it to me. But an explanation requires communication and communication requires more intimacy than she is prepared to grant me. So I am left to infer her attitudes towards me from the way she treats me. It's pretty clear - she wants nothing to do with me.
I know I can't change this, but it stinks just the same.