A certain chronological symmetry
On paper there is nothing special about this particular AFL grand final Saturday. It was a delightful spring day in Sydney, but we are fortunate to be blessed with many of those.
Today is special in my mind because this weekend resonates with a certain symmetry, and I can't help noticing the symmetrical.
12 years ago, I spent the most blissful weekend of my life with the one who should be forgotten. 6 years ago, I spent a rather miserable weekend contemplating the news I learned the day before that she had married 6 months previously.
Today I am as far away in time from the nadir of my emotional life as the nadir was from the zenith. Emotionally, I am roughly half way between both places.
posted by Jon Seymour at 18:20
2 Comments:
Howdy.
I stumbled on your blog the way one stumbles upon anything on the net.
I'm sure you know you're not the only one who hungers for someone we imagine to be better than anything reality has offered us so far.
But are you using your visions of what might be as a reason not to engage with someone real, mundane and imperfect? If so, then stop it!
Thanks for the comment and the link.
She was better than anything reality had offered. She was reality for a brief time.
All that remains now are the scars. It'd be nice to remove the scars too, but that's the thing about scars - if they were easy to remove, they wouldn't be scars.
I've been open to other people in the intervening years. I just haven't clicked with anyone. Sometimes it was because they weren't interested in me, sometimes because I wasn't interested in them.
One thing I will not do is participate in a charade of pretending to be interested in someone when I am not. I am pretty used to life alone. It is real, imperfect and perhaps a little mundane, but so be it.
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